Everything Will Change in the Blink of an Eye – so take a picture of it

The lot next door to my home has been wooded for as long as I have lived in this house, going on 16 years now. In all of those years I have photographed the birds in its trees, met bobcats from afar, and watched squirrels come scurrying into my yard from their homes every morning. It brought me a lot of joy to listen to the sounds of nature right outside my home, considering just a few blocks away is the loud city.

If you’ve been following my blog and reading my posts, you know that because of my health I am more often than not stuck at home and am often limited to my back yard as a place to take pictures and test out my cameras. You may also know if you are following my instagram, that most of the pictures I take are of the birds and trees right from my yard.

hawks
Nikon F Photomic FTn with Kodak Gold 200
Hawks watching the trees being knocked down

Since America is in the middle of another real estate boom, there has been land being cleared, homes and buildings going up everywhere. It is all very reminiscent of the time right before the recession in 2008. We had the same kind of boom in construction that ended with piles of wood being abandoned and lots left empty along with many construction workers being out of a job. Hopefully this boom won’t end with the same outcome, but I also hope we don’t end up losing too much wildlife as a result.

vulture
Nikon F Photomic FTn Kodak Gold 200

The peace and quiet I have enjoyed for so long all came to an end a few weeks ago when I saw the SOLD sign outside the lot next door. My stomach sank. I had only hoped they would take a long time before they started building, but they didn’t. One morning I went outside for a walk to find this giant log hauler parked in front of the lot. Later cops showed up I think because it was parked near a curve in the road, and much later it was moved.

Canon TX
Eastman Double X 5222 Film
Canon TX
Eastman Double X 5222 Film
Canon TX
Eastman Double X 5222 Film

The next day this tractor appeared in its place. Then I knew it was only a matter of time, and I had to start taking my last photographs while I still could.

Nikon F Photomic FTn
Fujicolor Superia Xtra 400
The tallest tree towering over my house

It all happened very quickly. Very early one morning I was woken up by the loud sounds of the tractor crunching over the smaller palms and bushes. I wanted to capture every branch, and every tree before they were carried off. Luckily, I had a few different cameras already loaded. I always have several different cameras with different focal lengths loaded at one time.

tractor
The Tractor made me think of a Monster devouring its lunch

I ran outside and started shooting as much as I could before the tractor tore them down. It was a very dramatic experience to witness. These once very large, old trees were now being pushed over, shook, and crushed with sounds of cracking that sounded like bones breaking. Trees that once grew together for decades would now die together within hours.

Giant Trees
Canon T6i
Oak Trees
These trees towered over my home for over 15 years

As you can imagine I had an emotional attachment to these trees. The experience was very dramatic for me, so you will have to bear with my dramatic descriptions. I couldn’t help feeling this way as I watched it happening in front of me.

The egrets came with the tractor as if it was their everyday job too. They were brave, flying in next to the scoop and standing inches from the tires before it rolled on. They reminded me of the birds that sit on the backs of gators or rhinos hoping to catch fish while symbiotically living on another living animal.

They would run up to the claw and grab snakes and lizards impaled on the teeth. They ate well that day.

A once tall palm being pushed over. It looked like a ribcage

At first I figured the guy was just going to clean up the bushes and weeds around the tall trees and then a larger tractor would come later to maybe saw down the gigantic trees. I had no idea how they were going to manage such tall trees in between two houses without them falling on us.

Canon T6i
Canon T6i
These trees looked like the legs of a giant
Canon T6i

I gasped when he started to nudge the giants with his tractor until they fell over with a ground shaking crash.

Tractor tearing down a palm tree
Canon T6i

Trees often represent life, and stability. It was both awe inspiring and gut wrenching to see them being torn down by this metal man made machine, and tossed around like sticks.

Canon T6i
Fallen Trees being dragged out
Canon T6i
Tractor Crunching a Palm in half
Canon T6i

By the late afternoon I was still in shock that this small tractor had managed to clear the entire lot of giant trees all by itself in one day. After the guy left I went around to get some shots of the lot from the front.

Nikon F Kodak Tri X 400
Nikon F Photomic FTn
Kodak Ultramax 400
Nikon F Photomic FTn
Kodak Ultramax 400
The Roots of the Giants
Canon TX Kodak Double 5222
Roots of trees
The Roots
Canon T6i
Hawk
A RedShouldered Hawk sitting on the uprooted tree
Canon T6i
Sany Tractor

The only thing remaining on the lot was the giant carcasses of the once tall trees and a pile of crushed palms.

Palm Tree
Palm Tree Crushed
Canon T6i
Argus C3
Fujicolor Superia Xtra 400
Nikon F
Kodak Tri-X 400
Nikon F Photomic FTn
Fujicolor Superia Xtra 400
Nikon F Photomic FTn
Fujicolor Superia Xtra 400
Palm Tree Roots
A Pile of Palms
Nikon F Kodak Tri X 400
Fallen Palm Trees
Kodak Retina IIIs
Ilford XP2 400
Nikon F Kodak Tri X 400
Nikon F Kodak Tri X 400
Nikon F Photomic FTn
Kodak Ultramax 400

The guy left one tree that thankfully is on the part of the land that belongs to the city. I am so grateful for that because I often photograph this tree because it is where the hawks perch. They flew in to see what happened to their home.

Red Shouldered Hawks
Nikon F
Kodak Gold 200
You can see the hawk on the lower right branch
Canon T6i
Nikon F Kodak Tri X 400

Later that night I looked at the trees lying there in the dark lot next door. It was very eerie. They reminded me of sleeping giants, and that is what I called them after that.

Nikon F
Kodak Tri-X 400

The next day someone else came back with his very young son and some workers to break up the tall trees into pieces. I decided to use my Canon TX which was loaded with some Lomography Lady Grey I was trying out for the first time. It ended up fitting the subject perfectly to look like an old, 1940’s monster movie.

Sany Tractor
Canon TX
Lomography Lady Grey

I watched in horror as he picked up the carcass of each tree, raised it high in the air, and then dropped them to the ground to help crack them in half.

Sany Tractor
Canon TX
Lomography Lady Grey
Sany Tractor
Canon TX
Lomography Lady Grey

Then he would lift them back up slightly and hold it about 2 feet in the air while his young son came over with a chainsaw and sawed off the bottom half where the roots once fed life into the tree.

Sany Tractor
Canon TX
Lomography Lady Grey
Young boy chainsawing the roots off the tree
Canon TX
Lomography Lady Grey

Next he violently shook the roots free of any dirt before tossing it into a pile. The sawed off log then was carried over to a separate pile awaiting the log hauler to come take them away the next day.

Kodak Retina IIIs
Ilford XP2

This guy was pretty nasty. I could hear him screaming at his workers, and at one point he stopped the tractor and screamed at me in my yard, “What you takin’ my picture for!!” I yelled back that I wasn’t taking his picture, I was photographing the trees, but he ignored me. I felt pretty bad being scolded, and went inside. I guess I shouldn’t have let him get to me, but I wasn’t expecting that. I just really hate the way people seem to be particularly nasty these days.

Like a rose on a grave this branch dangled on the wire above the torn down lot
The lone standing tree
Nikon F Photomic FTn
Fujicolor Superia Xtra 400

The Bright Side

At the end of the day, there is nothing I can do about any of this. I couldn’t stop them from taking down those trees. I can’t stop them from building this house. Change is the only thing you can bet on in life, and there is nothing I can do about all of these changes that are taking place. I can however, control how I react to these changes. What I can do is see the bright side.

The literal bright side after all of this is the beautiful new view that has been revealed to me.

Sunset across from my backyard

When the lot next door was covered in those beautiful trees, it was also blocking my view to the sunset.

Hawk on top of the trees on a cloudy day

I now have this beautiful view to enjoy and photograph as well as the one tree they left behind that the hawks perch on especially for me to take their picture. Although I do know this too will be temporary because once the house is built I probably will lose that view too, it is these small blessings that keeps life going. These small happinesses are what we should all grasp hold of and never take for granted because in the blink of an eye it will all change.

The Bell & Howell/ Canon Dial 35

In 1963 Bell & Howell created the Dial 35 camera, and had them manufactured by their new partner Canon in Japan. It had several variations including the Dial 35-2 in 1969, which is the model I have.

Bell & Howell came into partnership with Canon in 1961. After many years of creating motion picture cameras they decided to start creating still cameras. The Dial 35 is one of these, and the many variations will have either of their names on the logo or both.

It was a camera that looked like a phone and worked like a clock. Most of you probably don’t know what a rotary phone is, but in the 19th century up into the late 20th phones had what was called a finger wheel. This was the dial on the phone laid out in a circle. You would hold down each number consecutively in the phone number you were dialing, and rotate the wheel around towards the finger stop.

The Dial 35 doesn’t have a rotating finger wheel. It is only cosmetically designed to look like a rotary phone. I am not exactly sure why they chose this design. I wasn’t able to find much info when researching this camera.

Rotary Phone
Rotary Phone
Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

The Ins and Outs

The Canon Dial 35 is a half frame camera that gives 72 pictures on 35mm film. It has automatic film advance from a clockwork spring motor located inside the grip of the camera. This grip gets wound up like a toy from that era. This allows you to keep taking pictures until it needs to be wound up once again after each set of 20 pictures. On the film counter the numbers 20 and 40 are set in red so you know it’s time to wind it up again. If the film stops advancing before you reach one of these numbers, it is till safe to rewind the motor if needed. There is even a screw mount located on the bottom of the grip for a tripod.

Picture from the Manual

The ISO numbers are laid out along the circle around the SE 28mm f2.8 Canon lens. The ISO numbers on the original Dial 35 ranges in sets of numbers from 8 to 500. The Dial 35-2 goes from 10-16 up to 640-1000.

The Dial 35 Canon Lens and ISO dial
The ISO dial and Lens

The camera is shutter priority, so you can manually set your shutter speed, which is located on the outside of the lens barrel from 1/30th of a second up to 1/250th. The camera then chooses the aperture for you. It has a needle matching CdS meter with an electric eye located around the lens. The meter reading is in the viewfinder with a distance indicator on the lefthand side. It zone focuses so you would have to guess the distance of your subject and then match the needle up to a picture of a mountain indicating a far away object beyond 15 feet, a blue snapshot symbol for 8-15 feet, and an outline of a human head to indicate 2.5-5 feet away.

The bottom of the field-of-view frame has the aperture numbers laid out with the red zones on the left and right letting you know that you are going to over or under expose and need to adjust your shutter speed. The frame in the viewfinder also has parallax correction marks to use when taking pictures up close.

Dial 35 Viewfinder features from the manual
Picture from the manual

The aperture control can be overridden by pulling out and turning the aperture knob located underneath the viewfinder window. You would also pull this out to turn off the meter when the camera is not in use so as not to waste your battery.

The original battery used was the 1.3 volt mercury battery that would need to be replaced with a modern equivalent. I use the Wein Cell batteries on Amazon.

The inside of the Dial 35
The inside of the Dial 35

There is a hot shoe mount and a PC socket located on the right side of the camera. You could buy a flash cube adapter to use in low light with the meter knob pulled out. The camera syncs with the flash cubes at 1/30th of a second and electronic flash through all speeds.

dial 35 flash cube attachment
Picture from the manual

The left side has a rewind button labeled with the letter R in white. To rewind the film you would first fully wind the motor, push down and turn the button to line up the white dots holding it there, and then the motor would automatically rewind. When it stops, continue to hold down the R button as you manually continue to turn the motor and rewind the film yourself until the counter says S.

The case for the camera looks a little like a coffin, but is a fun design allowing the strap of the camera to hang out for easy carrying.

The Dial 35 camera inside its case
Dial 35 inside its case

My Experience

I first saw this camera on a vintage camera Facebook page many years ago and I loved the way it looked. I have an affinity for all things from the 1960’s, so the design of the camera appealed to me. Back then I wasn’t shooting with my collection of vintage cameras because film wasn’t as readily available as it is becoming today. I had intended to purchase one for display in my cabinet. For some reason that I can’t remember, it may have been price, I never bought one. Now that I am shooting film in my cameras I decided to revisit this camera.

I found one on Ebay for a very cheap price because the seller wasn’t sure if it would work or not. I took a risk because if it didn’t work I wouldn’t mind just having it on display. I was really happy when I got it and figured out how to make it work.

Upon first inspection, I was aggravated by the zone focusing. I have always hated these types of cameras ever since I had a horrible experience with a Kodak Pony 135. I will have to tell that story in another blog post. Surprisingly though, this camera is very easy to navigate and over time I have gotten better at guessing distances.

The lens is surprisingly sharp when you get the distance correct, and I was very happy to discover it takes nice pictures indoors without a flash.

Christmas 2019 This was from a project I was working on called They’re All Angels.

Holding the camera is easy because of the motorized grip. It has some weight to it. It isn’t plastic and cheap despite being an unconventional camera. The viewfinder is nice and bright. Pictures can be taken in landscape or portrait style by turning the camera sideways.

avocado tree
succulents
Picture taken in low light in a bathroom

Conclusion

This camera isn’t one you would use for serious photography. It is a fun camera used more for the experience than for the photos taken with it. Don’t get me wrong though, I have been pleasantly surprised by some of the photos I have been able to get with this camera. I would recommend giving it a try, and even trying it out with your kids. They would probably get a kick out of it as well.Let me know in the comments if you have ever used this camera and what you think of it.

I will continue to use this camera especially when I am stuck indoors and need a camera that can take handheld shots in lowlight. I had good experiences in this scenario using Lomography 800 film and other 400 speed films.

Be sure to check out my other vintage camera reviews, and if you’d like to see more of my photography, please follow my instagram or Facebook.

My First Experience with Expired Film – Fujicolor Super G Plus & Fomapan 100

I had my first experience with expired film last month and I both liked it and hated it. In fact, I experienced alot of firsts in October. I used my first medium format film in my first medium format camera, a Mamiya 645, and I used my first expired 35mm film in my Canon TX.

The Fujicolor Super G Plus 200 film I used in the Canon TX was made from the years 1995 until 2000. My roll was expired in 1997, and I received it inside a boxed set with my Fujifilm Discovery 270 Zoom Date. See my video on that here.

I had decided to use the film in my SLR Canon TX instead of the Discovery Zoom so that I could control the ISO setting.

I’ve learned that the rule of thumb when shooting with expired film is to overexpose one stop for every decade (10 years) that the film is expired. Since this one expired 22 years ago, I set the ISO on my Canon TX to 50 and let it meter my shots as if the film were that ISO speed. I didn’t have my lab push it. I wasn’t sure if I should. I have heard you can do it both ways, so I decided not to this time.

I had no idea what to expect, because I had never shot expired film before, and I’ve heard it can be hit or miss. I was pleasantly surprised with the results. They have a dreamy, warm quality to them.

Frankie – Visit his page on Instagram and on Facebook

Now as for the results I got back from using the expired Fomapan 100 black and white 120 film that I used in the Mamiya 645, I wasn’t as happy with.

I recieved several rolls of this film from a friend. He said he thought it was about 15 years old and I should shoot it in bright light. So that’s what I did.

I had just gotten my Mamiya 645 from Ebay, and this was the only 120 film I had on hand. I figured I may as well test the camera out using a not so valuable film.

I only went one stop down on this one, so the results were a little dark. They also have these weird hair-like marks on them which I am not sure if that is from the labs scanner, or from the film. I know it’s not from the camera because I ran a different roll of film through it to make sure after I got these results.

On the other hand, I now really love medium format. The sharpness of the lens, and the detail is great. I never realised what I was missing out on until now.

All in all, I really liked the Fujicolor expired film and the experience of shooting with it. It changed things up for me, and added to the excitement of waiting to get those results back from the lab.

I will be using the rest of the rolls of Fomapan as well to test some of my vintage cameras. I just hope they all don’t have those weird hairy things on them.

Those reviews will be coming soon, so please be sure to subscribe to my youtube channel for the video version and sign up to get notified about my future reviews on here as well.

I will definitely be trying more expired film in the future if I can get my hands on some, and I definitely recommend it.

In fact, I’ve found this film that I forgot I had in my vintage camera collection cabinet. It is 127 film that expired in 1943! That is 76 year old film.

What do you think? Should I shoot it with one of my Kodak Vest Pocket Cameras? Is it too old? Would it even give me pictures? Let me know what you think in the comments below. What’s the oldest film youve shot with?

My 1st Film Camera – A Review: Canon TX

My love for taking pictures started when I was a little girl, but I didn’t buy my own camera until I was 12 years old. My father had just passed away suddenly, and he always loved taking pictures with his Canon. I wish he hadn’t sold his camera because I would have loved to have it today and I can not remember what model it was. I only remember it was a chrome and black Canon and he had it since we moved to Florida in 1989.

He was constantly taking pictures and I inherited that same love for taking photos. So when I was 12 years old my first camera of course had to be a Canon. It helped me to feel closer to my dad and still does. I am always wondering to myself what kinds of shots he would be taking and what film stocks would he be buying now.

That was right before digital came out so I bought a new Canon EOS Rebel 35mm camera which I thought would be the closest thing to his camera that I could get. I didn’t use it much for lack of guidance and no computer to look anything up at the time, therefore my results were not what I wanted. So once digital cameras came out I sold the film camera and continued through the years with the digital format. I went to college and graduated, becoming a graphic artist. Everything was digital. Fast forward 20 years from the time I bought that first 35mm camera, I now have many film cameras in my collection and just one digital.

The second film camera I bought for shooting (I started out only collecting vintage cameras for display) was the Canon TX because it looked like my dad’s camera. I still didn’t know much about film or film cameras at the time so this camera was a cheap buy on eBay that came with cheap lenses I knew nothing about. Although these lenses are off brands that I’ve never heard of, they have blown me away. They are the Access macro lens 70mm f3.5 and Seikanon 75-200mm f4.5. I’m very proud of the trees I grew from avocado and mango pits, so I often take pictures of them as well as the oak trees. I love how the Access lens fits the trees in my yard in the entire picture.

Later, I purchased a Canon 50mm f1.8 lens and my Uncle sent me a Soligor 75-210mm f2.8 that I will be testing over the next week.

The camera has a built in center weight averaging light meter with a needle that represents the shutter speed, and another needle with a circle on top that represents the f-stop. You want the needle and the circle to line up for the perfect exposure. The needle will move according to the lighting in the image and you turn the aperature ring on your lens to align the circle to it. You can also change them both manually to get the type of expsure you wish to have for the particular type of picture you may be shooting for.

the Match-Needle meter in the viewfinder

For the light meter to work, you need a 1.35v Mercury battery, which is no longer legal due to its toxic material. When I first purchased the camera, as I mentioned above, I didn’t know much about it. It wasn’t until recently, when I really started getting back into film photography, that I finally found out I can purchase an equivalent battery online. I bought the Wein Cell zinc MRB625 battery and the meter has worked perfectly since.

With the zoom lens, the camera is a little bit heavier than I like and makes the camera a little bit harder to grip. Although, when I compare this to my Nikon F setup with an equivalant zoom lens it is signifigantly lighter. With the 50mm lens, I use it as my carry along camera when I am going to doctors appointments, due to it being light weight and pretty discreet. The mirror slap is noticeable, but not as loud as the Nikon F or the Pentax 67.

The camera does not have a self timer, but does have a stop down lever in the front which can easily be mistaken for the self timer. I have not used the stop down lever myself because admittedly I don’t know how.

The shutter speeds go from Bulb, then 1 second up to 1/500th of a second with a flash sync at 1/60th. My only complaint that I have had so far while using this camera is sometimes the ISO setting, which is built into the shutter speed dial, gets accidentally changed while I am shooting and I dont notice until I am done. This can be a big problem when shooting say ISO 400 only to find out you were shooting the whole time set at 50. The good thing is, that the built in meter will compensate for it, but when you send it off to your lab, to be developed those pics may be over exposed compared to the rest.

So far this camera is the favorite of my SLR’s.(Then again I have only shot with this camera and my Nikon F’s so far) I’ve gotten better results with it than my Nikon F’s (which I will be reviewing in the future). All in all this camera, I feel, is a great work horse that is overlooked and underappreciated because it’s stripped down compared to other models. For me, I like that it’s minimal because I don’t use alot of those other features.

So if you’re looking for a simple camera for uncomplicated shooting, or if you’re a beginner to film photography, I highly recommend the Canon TX.

To see more pictures that I’ve taken with the Canon TX please visit my Instagram or my online portfolio. I also have a video review with this camera on my YouTube Channel. So please head over and subscribe to be notified for upcoming reviews.

Street Photography…from my car

I am new to the photography community, and especially the street photography community, but not to photography. When I was a in my early 20’s I’d go out and take pictures around my neighborhood by myself. I never knew anyone else who was into what I was into. I have always felt I didn’t fit in anywhere. Especially because my hobbies tend to be male dominated, I haven’t always been readily welcomed in some circles.

On the opposite side of the negativity I have encountered, there has also been some really nice people I’ve met in the community online. I really got a surge of inspiration after I got out of the hospital in June. I tend to be my most creative when I am going through a flare up. A professor of mine once said I do my best work when I am sickest. Not sure of why that is. Maybe there’s somthing about doctors telling you they dont know how to help you that really makes you think about life and death, and that in turn makes me just want to express myself. I want so badly to get out and photograph. There’s only one problem. Neuropathy.

I’ve mentioned before I suffer from a particularly nasty case of Crohn’s Disease, and back in June I was in the hospital with a bad flare up for two weeks that scared even the doctors. They had to use a high dose of steroids to get it under control, and unfortunately when I came home, I found out it had given me neuropathy and put me in a wheelchair. They suspect it will go away with physical therapy, and once I am off the steroids, but until then I am in a lot of pain and cant walk or stand for more than 10 minutes at a time, not to mention my face is swollen which makes me want to retreat even more. So what do you do when everything seems to be working against you? Take things into your own hands.

I can’t stand being stuck in my bed so every morning I eat breakfast, then I shoot film, and digital around my house just to practice and to scratch that itch I get to take photos. That way I can fit it in before the pain and fatigue get too bad. Photography is my rehab. I’ve been trying since June to get Physical Therapy, but with all the red tape of insurance, doctors, etc. It’s not going to happen anytime soon. So just as I’ve been doing since I was diagnosed 10 years ago, I take care of myself. Still, I can’t help but feel down, wanting so badly to get out and shoot like everyone else.

Street Photos From My Car

Before my doctors appointment last week, I decided to bring my digital camera and one of my Nikon F’s with me. I wasn’t sure how I would feel afterwards, I usually feel very drained and in pain after an appointment, but I brought them just in case.

Surprisingly, even after my doctor said he is learning about my disease along with me, (just what I want to hear from the man who holds my life in his hands) all I felt through my appointment was excitement and anxiety to leave and go take pictures. Normally I feel extreme anxiety at these appointments, but I just want to escape sometimes and photography is that escape for me.

After we left, I decided to try and shoot from the car window since I cant get out and stand right now.

I took this from inside the car with my Canon EOS T6i outside my doctors building.
Nikon FTn Apollo Kodak ColorPlus 200
In the parking lot
Nikon FTn Apollo Kodak ColorPlus 200

I still had some energy so I thought I’d do some street photography from the car. I wasn’t driving obviously, so I took pictures of things as we drove by and surprisingly I got some nice shots with my digital camera. I didn’t risk wasting film during this part.

Abandoned building
Canon EOS T6i
Still boarded up for the hurricane season
Canon EOS T6i
Church
Canon EOS T6i
Canon EOS T6i
Fishermen
Canon EOS T6i
Colonel Sanders Wants You to Eat Chicken
Canon EOS T6i
Canon EOS T6i
Under the Bridge
Canon EOS T6i
Mural outside the Police Department
Canon EOS T6i
Canon EOS T6i
Canon EOS T6i

Every time I go to my doctor I pass this tree and say “I really want to take pictures of that tree one day.” I finally did. It’s this really huge, wild tree in front of a building that has just taken over the area. I always wonder how long it’s been there. It has wild branches growing in every direction and it’s leaves form a giant canopy overhead like a glass ceiling. I love it and plan on taking pictures of it again after my next doctors appointment, probably trying a different camera and lens each time.

I shot with my canon EOS T6i and traded off with my Nikon F Apollo with the FTn meter. I used Kodak Color Plus 200 film and my Nikkor 105mm lens. I wasn’t too thrilled with my lens choice for these shots so I’ll try a different one next time.

Secret Window
Nikon FTn Apollo Kodak ColorPlus 200
Canon EOS T6i
Nikon FTn Apollo Kodak ColorPlus 200
Canon EOS T6i
Nikon FTn Apollo Kodak ColorPlus 200
Canon EOS T6i
Canon EOS T6i

So that was my day shooting street photography from my car. You can say it was my day of therapy. It felt really good mentally to be able to get out and feel some sense of normalcy and to get to do what everyone else does… somewhat. I went home and was in pain the whole next day but it was worth it.

I hope that if you’re reading this and you have any limitations from an illness or disability, and a love for photography or anything really, don’t give up. Come up with different ways to live your passion. Life is very short and the time to live is now.